I was explaining to an old friend that one of closest and dearest friends was opening a huge show that will most likely end up on broadway. “You sound really happy for her… Aren’t you jealous of her? That’s your childhood dream.” My old friend asked. My old friend has been a struggling Broadway actor for years. She’s one of those that will be struggling till the day she dies but she’s doing what she loves. We met when we performed “Julius Caesar” together WAY back in the day, lost touch, then regained touch through the miracle of Facebook and rekindled a superficial relationship.
I thought about the question… I thought hard. “No.” I replied, “not at all… I’m proud of her.” It’s the truth. I never thought to be jealous. My close friend has been preparing for this literally her entire life… so why would I be jealous? Just this one project has been a 2+ year journey for her. I’m proud as hell… I’m screaming from the rafters to anyone who will listen about how happy I am for her.
My old friend then said “you’re not a normal woman I guess.” Not a normal woman… wait… so because we were both born with vaginas I’m not supposed to support her? I really started thinking. I thought back to when I was a kid riding horses competitively… it made sense now. We were all friends until we got to the same level and started competing with each other. It made sense now. Jealousy and competition reigned. I just thought they hated me…
Why as women do we get this way with each other? We are all spouting “woman power” until say a friend starts excelling in something then jealousy takes over. Aren’t we all in this together? If we are all in it together why does female rivalry exist?
Doing a little late night internet research I came across a plethora of articles about the subject. Some blame hormones, some blame upbringing, while others blame our caveman ancestors. Are women inherently jealous of each other? Is it part of our brain structure? Is it something some women can’t help? Reading this information makes me wonder how we ever came together to win our right to vote.
This newly gained information really enlightened things for me. Maybe I was only made fun of as a school girl because I was tall and skinny. Maybethe reason people gossip and lie as adults is because they are jealous of something. Oddly enough this makes me feel better… no idea why but I will take it.
How can we overcome this jealousy and rivalry? It’s all “yeah female power” till jealousy or rivalry hit. We women need to work together… we need to stick up for each other… we need to support each other. We need to stand together for our basic rights and that starts with supporting each other’s accomplishments. We have a president who talks about “grabbing women by the pussy” yet we are ostrisizing, hating, and making fellow women’s lives miserable out of petty jealousy?!
Ladies… who gives a shit about the petty stuff. Support your female friends. Love them for the sisters they are. Stop creating drama… we have enough all ready. Stand together in love and celebrate each other.
I am proud beyond words about my friend’s success… as I am with any friend’s success. I will support my friends with my last breath. I will promote her because I believe in her ability with all my heart. Good, deep, platonic friendships are rare… don’t let jealousy and pettiness ruin them.